Are Relationships Supposed to Be Complicated?
On occasion we'll take time for self-examination and introspection. This usually emerges after some major event(s) that has changed the landscape of our lives. We'll take an honest assessment of ourselves and determine the changes we want to make. They may be simple adjustments such has being punctual or more pivotal such as gravitating toward healthier relationships.
A person may have self-awareness yet accept unhealthy partners or compromise themselves. Even though they truly desire to be in satisfying, fruitful relationships. You ask, why would a person choose a partner that is opposite to what they truly want? Well...isn't that the million dollar question??
When it comes to our actions we are lead by the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind controls 95% of our waking consciousness, and is always cognizant even during times of sleep. This explains why you can drive a car while daydreaming or while your mind is "elsewhere."
Similar to a computer that is governed by the operating system, so are we by the subconscious. The subconscious mind, just like an operating system, dictates what can and cannot be done.
A client of mine came to see me. It's been a few months since our last session. As I greeted him at the door I could see he was in distress. I wondered what had transpired in the few months since I last saw him.
He was a young male approaching his mid-thirties; handsome, intelligent, and had a pleasant demeanor. He proceeded to tell me his relationship of three years had ended. He was devastated. They were engaged and ready to be married the following Spring.
He described, was once a jovial and loving relationship, had morphed into something noxious. He elaborated how he allowed the relationship to develop naturally and took his time, yet still it turned out to be an unhealthy union. He wanted to prevent the same situation from reoccurring and wanted a hypnotherapy session to resolve the issue.
We began the session taking a full 15-20 minutes to get my client into a natural, deep state of relaxation conducive to accessing the subconscious. As I regressed my client to a crucial moment it revealed an incident he witnessed at the young age of four-years old.
His memory became clearer as he described what transpired. My client began his story. His parents hosted a party with all their friends and neighbors. It was a fun evening with music, food, and dance. All were having a good time socializing with drinks in hand. He sat in the corner of the living room content with his toys enjoying the liveliness of the music and the people chatting about.
His eyes would occasionally glance up at the sounds of loud laughter and chuckles from a couple a few feet away. They were happy and attentive, having a good time with one another. The sparkles that gleamed from her neck and fingers grasped my young four-year-old version attention. He was intrigued with the couple.
As the night grew longer, the man became exasperated and indignant toward the woman. His anger ensued gaining the attention of the people that quickly gathered around. The 4-year-old version of my client was traumatized as he witnessed the man's soft, loving demeanor toward the woman transform into something volatile.
Strangely, this was the root cause to my client's failed relationships. He associated that incident between the man and woman as normal behavior between couples. The same as he experienced in his personal relationships. The women he gravitated toward were women, generally warm, who's anger would escalate quickly without cause.
As I continued to navigate my client through the traumatic event he was able to foster a sense of peace toward the man's mean behavior toward the woman. With further work we disengage his emotions from the event changing his perception he associated with relationships. Now, my client relies on his intuition when dating and is attracting healthy partners.
Just when you think you know the answer...turn the page!
Love & Light!
By: Christina Milano
